Category Archives: Millennial Culture

Tomato Seedlings, Dave Ramsey, and Sustainability

The week we got our tomato seedlings and herb sprouts in the ground is the week I finally sat down and read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Both things speak to me of the value of being self-sustainable in a nation underwater in debt.

Like a lot of people, my husband and I have school loans, and we’re committed to scaling them down to zero. I’m willing to get a little crazy like Dave Ramsey suggests to come out on top.

I’m grateful that my husband and I were raised similarly in the way we were taught to handle money, which makes it so much easier in our marriage to spend and save together. It would be difficult if we disagreed on this point, because we do a lot of weird things, such as making our own chicken stock and granola, choosing not to own a TV, going through a Christian non-profit for insurance cost sharing, and not owning credit cards. We both love to go out and try new restaurants and go to the movies, but we can do these things comfortably because we don’t have monthly bills for cable, smart phones, or stuff bought on credit.

In the past two years of marriage and learning to live within our means, I have noticed a few things about making, growing, and doing things by hand the slow way.

It’s empowering. Our backyard garden plot is small, but war-weary generations before us called it a “victory garden” for a reason. It is empowering to create something from scratch that costs pennies, that is fresh and free from a bar code. It’s empowering to know that we can feed ourselves on what we grew by hand, food that is not reliant on a system–farmers, factory workers, machines, airplanes and trucks–to find its way to my plate. And as a freelancer subject to nearly 40% self-employment taxes, guess how good those Italian green beans taste.

It teaches me to be resourceful. Our American concept of “need” is becoming more and more subjective. I’ve found that it is healthy to look within what I already have and ask, what can I use that is already within reach? I am proud when I can re-purpose a yard sale item instead of buying new. I am learning the difference between consuming and creating, and it teaches me to take a second look at things I already own and get creative, to see fresh possibilities.

It trains me in the art of cultivation. This was humanity’s first call–to enjoy and cultivate a garden. I love growing our own tomatoes, making my own peanut butter, and getting crafty to decorate my home because the process teaches me to better appreciate what has been provided. In these simple tasks, I get to participate in the divine action of creating, and it reminds me, better than swiping a card, that all of it is a gift from God’s hand.

Do you see value in being self-sustaining, financial, spiritual, or otherwise? How do you pursue this in daily, simple ways?

You Are Celebrated! {Happy International Women’s Day}

There is just too much to say about the feminine tribe. Regardless of whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, working woman, pastor’s wife, single grad student, floral-and-filigree women’s ministry leader or a hear-me-roar feminist rights activist…

You are celebrated. Whoever you are, you are beautiful, significant, and empowered because you are made in the image of Your Maker.

Here are some of my favorite quotes to commemorate the day:

 ”Women are the real architects of society.”~ Harriet Beecher Stowe 

Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ … And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” ~ Genesis 2:18, 22

“Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.” ~ Faith Whittlesey 

“The fastest way to change society is to mobilize the women of the world.” ~ Charles Malik

“I do not wish [women] to have power over men; but over themselves.” ~ Mary Wollstonecraft

“‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May it be to me as you have said.’” ~ Luke 1:38 

Who’s your inspiration? What female role models, yesterday and today, have influenced you the most? 

The Inconvenience of Lent

[This post was originally published on Relief Journal's blog, and I'm happy to say our church now incorporates communion into the service]

In our American culture of drive-through coffee, instant Twitter feeds, and video on demand, we prize immediacy. We like to check our email on our touchscreen phone as soon as it hits our inbox, grab lunch to-go, and download live-streaming news. We are a nation of busy professionals, parents, and students living under the banner of “carpe diem,” driven by the idea that there’s no time like the present.

This “now” syndrome certainly has advantages, motivating us to work hard and invest fully in whatever we’re doing, but what happens when we apply our instant-culture values to spirituality?

I once had a bizarre experience with communion that made me consider this question. After months of exhausting church-searching, my husband and I finally found a church where we wanted to stay. It’s a contemporary kind of church, the kind that has a graphic designer on staff and a coffee bar out in the hall, and we came because we like the teaching and the small groups. But you have to understand, the church we went to before we moved was a liturgical church, the kind with Kierkegaard quotes in every other sermon and weekly communion. So we knew we’d have to make some adjustments at our new church.

But this is what I did not expect: communion that is served before the service, an addendum tacked onto and separate from the worship service. So we set our alarms a little earlier, entered the sanctuary, and found only a fraction of the congregation had shown up. The pastor said a prayer for this handful of early-risers, and at his invitation we filed up front and received the elements, and then it was over. The whole ordeal took literally five minutes. There was no time of confession before receiving the sacrament. There was no benediction afterwards, charging us to go forth bearing Christ into the world. There was no community, only a yawning faithful few. There was no ritual, no careful unfolding of holiness.

It was like grabbing Christ’s blood of the covenant, His outpouring for the world, in a Styrofoam to-go cup. It was a sacrament dictated by convenience, quickly squeezed in between other items on the agenda, and left out of the greater context of cosmic redemption.

The problem with an instant culture, and an instant church, is that a preoccupation with the present diminishes our ability to see seasons, to see story, to observe the unfolding of time. This is the pivotal idea of the sacrament of communion: Christ asks us to remember Him by taking the bread and wine (Luke 22:19), and to anticipate the future when we will eat and drink with Him face to face (Matt. 26:29).

As we now enter the season of Lent, we enter a time of waiting. There is no immediacy or convenience here. But there is a story of cosmic proportions unfolding, as we take the forty days of Lent to remember, to walk through the events of the life of Christ: the temptation in the desert, the agony of Good Friday, the silence and sorrow of Holy Saturday, and the joyful victory of Sunday morning.

It is often difficult for us to lay down our gadgets and agendas to just sit for a while, quiet our souls, and dwell with God. And yet, He laid down everything for us, making Himself “nothing” and emptying Himself to the point of death (Phil. 2:7-98).

In his beautiful poem“Seven Stanzas at Easter,” John Updike writes of the agony of the cross, “Let us not seek to make it less monstrous, for our own convenience…” As we cross the threshold of Ash Wednesday, let us reflect sincerely and sorrowfully on Christ’s suffering for us, so that on Easter morning, our hearts will grasp the incredible joy in His resurrection.

How do you find preparing yourself for Easter through Lent an inconvenience? How do you find it a blessing?

Marriage Is…

Over Christmas I caught up with a friend over coffee, and the conversation of expectations and marriage came up. She asked me how I would describe our first year of marriage, and if it was hard. Marriage, and newlywed life especially, is a lot of things, but that would probably be the last word I would use to describe our first year together.

“Really?” she said, “You’re the first person I’ve heard say that.”

The first picture taken of Zach and I together. It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell it sometime.

It made me sad to hear that young married couples experience challenge and difficulty as the norm. I know that marriages can hit hard times. Any relationship worth fighting for will be hard, it will weather both tension and tenderness. We’ve experienced both in newlywed life, most of our conflict arising from the adjustment of welding two lives into one. And I can only speak from this small beginning that is ours, but overall, I would describe marriage in different words:

Marriage is hilarious—like when you both say a million-dollar word— “elixir,” for example—at the same time, or when you make a merry mess of the kitchen together attempting smoothie recipes.

Marriage is safe—like when you have the weekend from hell and your husband leaps to your defense in a tirade against all injurious persons and events, both at once cleansing you from the experience and making you laugh.

Marriage is fun—a 365-day-a-year sleepover with your best friend who happens to be super cute. I think that says it all.

Marriage is creative and playful—like when you happily trade in a traditional dinner date night for making snow angels at the park, dreaming and making life lists together, and taking late-night city walks. Love widens your imagination to a new scope of color.

Marriage is sweet—like when he made it all through college without drinking coffee, and then started brewing a pot daily when she was away in Amsterdam, because it made him think of her. Like when he’s going to have a beast of a day at work and she does her hair curly, just the way he likes it.

Marriage is friendship—a deep kindred knowledge of each other, in which he knows that she cries every time Fred dies in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, that she drinks her coffee always with a straw. And she knows that he craves citrus when he’s sick and that his sense of social protocol cringes at taking pictures in nice restaurants. The best part is we’re always still learning.

Marriage is redemptive–in God’s astounding grace that allows us to rehearse His divine love toward each other in everyday liturgies of sharing a sink, table, and bed, as we share heart and soul.

What is your reaction when you hear people talk about how “marriage is hard”? Does that ring true or would you describe marriage differently?

3 Holiday Questions for You

It’s been interesting to observe the collision of the continued Occupy Wall Street protests and the celebration of Thanksgiving, which has caused me to think on the theme of entitlement in American life, and ask some questions as we approach the holidays. Will you wonder with me?

1) How do we cultivate a spirit of thankfulness that is not fueled by comparison to the misfortunes of others? I often catch myself feeling thankful in the face of what others lack, which can be a healthy wake-up call, but will I learn to be thankful for the grace that I daily do not deserve? 

2) How do we practice hospitality in a way that blesses and refreshes those we welcome into our homes, without stirring feelings of envy, comparison, or competition in our guests at the sight of a clean home or a fine meal? 

3) How can we learn the rhythms of giving and receiving graciously this Christmas? How can we give generously to family and friends, receive with gratefulness, and also remember and give creatively and cheerfully to those who are in need around the world? Also, how can we practice these rhythms of gift-giving without the guilt of living in the privileged West?

I’m excited to enter Advent, which I hope will shape some of these questions into something more tangible, and I’m anxious to hear your thoughts. 

I Am Not a Leader

I graduated from Moody Bible Institute with high honors and a degree in Women’s Ministry and Communications. As an undergraduate, I led a women’s small group, mentored in a low-income neighborhood, served at my local church, sang on worship teams, led a year-long campaign project to raise support for rescued child soldiers, volunteered at a hostel ministry overseas, and more.

Upward by Michael Gross via CreationSwap

So what am I doing right now, two years beyond graduation?

None of those things.

I am married, but we have no children. 

I work, but exclusively from my home office or the local coffee shops. 

I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center, but most of my time there is spent stuffing envelopes and answering phones.

I go to church, but I do not serve or volunteer.

At this stage in my life, I am not a leader in any capacity. And for right now, I think that’s okay. Influence does not always take the face of a high-powered career, a thriving ministry, a “dream job,” or a vibrant social platform. Ministry is not always conventional or quantifiable.

My current and chosen focus is to be faithful in the simple and the small, to say “yes” to God in a million everyday, seemingly inconsequential choices, that will shape my spirit over time. I believe these everyday obediences will be foundational to the rest of my life, propelling me forward with growing momentum into His purpose. I am not drifting or biding my time; I am building something: a marriage, a home, a career, a ministry, and a life.

I choose to live my days dwelling in the truth that Zach and I are reenacting the Trinity within our marriage. This sounds all very eloquent, but it takes practice, patience and many tangles and mess-ups along the way. But I am fully convinced that our daily love reflects  this mystery of Christ’s love for the church, and like this love, our marriage is never intended to be isolated and ingrown, but rather produce an outflow of love and service to those around us. If I can be first faithful in embodying “the most excellent way” (1 Cor. 13) in my marriage, my ministry will be a natural outflow of this love. So for now, I practice. I try. I fail. I try again.

I choose to work from home, and I feel incredibly privileged to carry out a ministry of words every Monday through Friday. Every article I write, every book I edit, every publicity campaign I manage, I try to integrate with my philosophy of language which is patterned after the Incarnation. I named my business (In)dialogue Communications, because Christ began a dialogue with the world and now it becomes my charge to speak life and truth as He did. I used to flinch at the marketing label, but I choose to make it ministry. I choose to serve, not sell.

I choose to serve at a local crisis pregnancy center, trusting that God is at work through even the smallest tasks of greeting girls walking in from the high school across the street on their lunch periods. I choose to believe that my prayer over the recipients of community mailings, my editing of the ministry newsletter, matters.

I chose not to serve at our local church, after initially looking into helping with the youth group and learning that two evenings a week would be required of me. As much as I wanted to be involved in this ministry, I did not think it would be wise to give up two evenings a week apart from my husband in our first year of marriage.

Leadership. Influence. These are the buzzwords, and they are important. But if you are willing, God will work just as powerfully through your drudge work, your day job, your behind-the-scenes service, and your faithfulness in the small. Choose to believe that as you are intentionally and faithfully building a life, He is shaping you into something He can fill. 


We are the Entrepreneurs

I recently got an email from LinkedIn with the invitation to view the current careers of my graduating class and see where they are now. Curious, I clicked over to a summary table of Moody Bible Institute’s 2009 graduates to see what they’re up to two years after walking the stage. I was surprised by the results.

The highest percentage of men and women from my graduating class showed 62%  in the creative or entrepreneur fields, and as I scrolled through some of my former classmates careers, I saw freelancers: self-employed photographers, graphic designers, startup business owners, and work-at-home writers and editors like myself.

The millennial generation, generally those ages 18-29, was largely affected by the economic downturn that intersected with our college careers. But it would seem that some of us are living our youth and potential to the hilt, pro-actively putting our skills and passions to work in a new work model.

We are a generation of creatives. Not only creating stand-alone projects, but creating opportunities for ourselves in the face of otherwise unemployment or underemployment. We see no one is hiring, so we create our own careers, new jobs and new positions when the conventional doors have been closed to us. I look at students from my graduating class, friends, and fellow bloggers and tweeters, and see many who have admirably created non-profits to stand for social causes, startup businesses and ministries.

In a survey conducted this year by Buzz Marketing Group, 79% of the millennial generation is interested in pursuing entrepreneurship, 27% are already self-employed, and 21% have launched their own business as a solution and an alternative to being unemployed.

I’ve written before about how I started my communications business, and as I have built upon my work in the past few years, I realize that the attribute that has always brought me father than I expected to go is a pro-active approach. Rarely will you ever be handed work or pay as a freelancer. Here are a few things that helped me establish a career after college:

  • Learn as you go. If someone in a hiring position asks you if you’re proficient in social media, say yes–and then bend over backwards to go learn it and be the best expert you can.
  • If you have a business card and a professional website, you have a business. This was the advice my communications professor gave to me upon graduation. Presentation pays. And once you have one or two freelance projects under your belt, ask your clients for recommendations to post on your website. As I’ve done this, nearly all of my new clients come from personal referrals and recommendations from past clients.
  • Take initiative. Don’t be afraid to approach people who may have a need for your services and don’t know it yet. Learn how to network effectively online, in person, or at conferences or meet-ups in your field, and do your homework in finding out what people need that you can offer them.
  • The best way to gain experience is to do it for free. It’s not glamorous, but it’s true. Get an internship. Contribute writing or design work for free. I’ve heard several stories of people who offer their services to a local business for free, and performed so well, that the company realized they would be suffering a loss when their volunteer left–so they created a new position and were asked to stay.

I realize some millennials are given a bad rap for living off their parents and drifting in extended adolescence, but I am highly encouraged to see so many of us adversely rising to our potential and creating opportunities out of a depressing situation.

I’d love to hear your story. Where do you work and how did you get there? Is there anything in particular that really helped you along the way?

In Which We Host a House Blessing

This weekend was it: after working on repairing and updating our 1940s Gingerbread House for a year, we threw a party.

Zach and I have been thinking about having a house blessing since last October, when it became apparent to us that we were not moving into a neutral neighborhood. The Halloween decor in our neighborhood was particularly dark. We live under the shadow of a historic mental institution just up the hill, and about half the people we know here have jobs working with people who have mental or psychiatric disorders. And historically, the area of Upstate New York where we live is know as “the burned over district,” a name given by an evangelist in the revival days, because the people here were so steeped in pagan spiritualism that they were not receptive to the gospel. Mormonism also has its roots here.

Moving here I have learned that the land carries a legacy. This isn’t about superstition or banishing out “negative energies” or living in fear of what haunts, and I absolutely do not believe that any space is bound to its legacy in an unchangeable way. It’s about consecrating our living space to God to allow Him to use it for His purposes.

So with friends and family in attendance, over a harvest meal with flavors of pumpkin and brown butter sage, with the fire blazing in the fireplace, we had our blessing. Here are a few of the thoughts Zach wrote out to explain our occasion. Zach’s dad, a pastor who also married us, led us in the call and response, which is adapted from the Book of Common Prayer:

The reason Steph and I are hosting this event is because we believe that space is sacred.  We believe that the idea of sacred space is one of the most important themes of the biblical narrative, from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, to the Israelite possession of the Promised Land, to the future of a cosmos that is reconciled with its Creator……At the very beginning, when the cosmos came into existence the Hebrew would have understood land symbolized the dramatic transition from disordered chaos to an ordered structure.  The Hebrew understanding would also have contradicted the typical Ancient Near Eastern creation myths in that it viewed all of creation as a sacred act.  Ancient Near Eastern people believed that certain places were sanctified because of the primeval power that filled them during the ‘primordial event’ of creation.  However the biblical narrative is quite clear that all things were created by God and that God chooses the places where he dwells with his people to His own good pleasure.

In the O.T. God demanded that space was purified, consecrated, and dedicated to Him.  Adam and Eve were cast from the garden when they fell.  The Israelites purged the promised land of idolatrous heathens.  The tabernacle was only open to the priestly line.  In all of this there was a liturgy and a ritual to dedicating space to God.  The liturgy was a vitally important part of communal life as it extrinsically actualized the Israelites inward attitudes of commitment to The I AM. 

Following this to the N.T., the monumental sacrifice of Christ drastically changes a person’s social economy with God.  No longer must we go to the Temple to worship, for Christ has become our sacrifice.  In this new economy, God dwells with us and within us.  As such, our bodies become temples, sacred because of God’s presence with us.  Further, Steph and I believe that the physical places we inhabit are extension of this.  Our homes and our land is more than a territorial space that we legally possess, it is a place of memory and meaningful existence.  This means, that when we move into this new house we need to dedicate those old memories to God and ask for his blessing on our inhabitation of this new place.

Please follow in asking God’s blessing on us and our house.

Celebrant: Peace be to this house, and to all who dwell in it. The Lord be with you.

People: And also with you.

Celebrant: Let us pray.

Almighty and everlasting God, Creator of the cosmos, Maker of the mountains, Painter of the heavens, and Planter of Gardens;

Grant to this home the grace of your presence, that you may be known to be the inhabitant of this dwelling and the defender of this household; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

People:   Let the mighty power of the Holy God be present in this place to banish from it every unclean spirit, to cleanse it from every residue of evil, and to make it a secure habitation for those who dwell in it; in the Name of Jesus Christ or Lord. Amen.

Celebrant:  Stir up the gift of hospitality, Lord, in all who gather in this room. May your Name be invoked in all activities here to the building up of your domestic church; and in all watching, listening, reading and conversing may Your Name be glorified; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

People:  Visit, O blessed Lord, this home with the gladness of your presence. Bless all who live here with the gift of your love; and grant that they may manifest your love to each other and to all whose lives they touch. May they grow in grace and in the knowledge and love of you; guide, comfort, and strengthen them; and preserve them in peace, O Jesus Christ, now and forever. Amen.

Celebrant: May all who go forth from this home go in peace, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.  Amen.

10 Things To Do Before Marriage {Guest Post}

Today’s post is by Jennifer Bryant, who is writing this month through her blog series “30 Days of Singleness.” I admire Jennifer’s commitment and wisdom in making the most of this unique and transitory time of life, as well her ambitious “30 Before 30″ list of life goals, and asked her to share some advice on making your single years shine!

Too many people are wasting their singleness. Instead of looking at this time as an opportunity, we try to rush through it as quickly as possible.  We want to skip ahead to marriage and family. We don’t bother trying to make the most of it.

Marriage is a wonderful thing and I cannot wait to experience it. But we shouldn’t put our life on pause while we wait for the One to show up. We should take advantage of this time.

But what does that look like? Glad you asked. Here are a few suggestions on how to make the most of your singleness.

10 Things to Do Before Marriage

  1. Do something that scares you. A friend of mine bungee jumped from the tallest bridge in the world. My little sister went skydiving. I tried online dating… ok, maybe that doesn’t count. But do something that frightens the pants off you.
  2. Challenge yourself. Always wanted to run a marathon? Do it.  Go scuba diving? Get certified. We all have an idea that lurks in the back of our minds. Figure out what that idea is and go do it!
  3. Learn to cook (Or at least try). For one thing, wouldn’t it be nice to know that you could keep yourself from starving the next time an ice storm or hurricane hits? Not to mention that cooking is such an undervalued skill. But trust me; your future spouse will appreciate it.
  4. Spend time with your family. Especially around the holidays. Enjoy this time when you don’t have to juggle your parents and your in-laws. Go home for Christmas and sleep in your childhood bed. Drink hot chocolate and watch the Muppets Christmas Carol curled up on the couch. Things will get complicated someday. Enjoy the simplicity now.
  5. Buy that new Camaro. Or whatever car you’ve been dreaming of. (If you are not in a great financial position, ignore this one.) But if you have a steady job and want a new car, go for it. Enjoy it now, before it gets traded in for something a little more practical.
  6. Babysit. Especially if you haven’t been around kids much. Take this time to learn how you feel about children. Think you can’t wait to be a parent? Babysitting helps you realize that yes, babies are adorable and wonderful, but they are also demanding and exhausting. That night of babysitting may help quiet the ticking of your biological clock.
  7. Travel on a whim. Call up your friend in LA and let them know you are coming in for a weekend. When you are single, they are totally cool with you crashing on their couch. Add a spouse to the equation and it gets a little more complicated. Take advantage of your flexibility now.
  8. Give back. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister. Sign up for that mission trip you keep putting off. Volunteer at your church. I hate to admit it, but you do have more free time when you are single. Make the most of it.
  9. Focus on your career. Love your job? Good. Work hard and build up a fantastic reputation. Kind of hate your job? Quit! Find a career that you love. Now is the time to figure out what you want to do and do it well.
  10. Indulge in SSB – Secret Single Behavior. We all have weird quirks or habits that we don’t necessarily want to share with the world…or our spouse. Maybe it is blasting N Sync while you dance around the living room, eating raw cookie dough for breakfast, or spending hours on failblog.org. Whatever it is, enjoy it!

Jennifer is a single Christian twenty-something. She works as a freelance writer/editor and part-time nanny while blogging about faithsingleness, and living fearlessly. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

What would you add to this list? 

The Dreaded “Platform”

All of us have in some way had to adapt and rise to changes of social communication. When I first applied for a publishing internship a few years ago, “social media” and “platform” were on the very outer edge of my vocabulary, and today, I make a living through them.

Today I write for RELEVANT about the ever-present tension between building a platform and building something of eternal significance. I look forward to hearing your input on how to navigate new media with an eye toward heaven.

You can read the full article here.

 

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